Today I met with a wonderful woman who came to me for a style assessment. After about two hours of discussion about what looks good on her, what her colors are, etc... she told me about her adolescent daughter.
Her daughter is young and beautiful... but she looks like a woman. At just 12 years old, she has already begun developing curves and has outgrown the junior-style clothing.
She asked me what I could do to help improve her daughter's image. Her daughter doesn't think she looks BAD but she doesn't like her body either.
The mother expressed concern about her daughter's clothing not fitting her body right - plumber's crack here, a little too much stomach there... just the realities that come when you are a 12 year old girl trapped in the body of a woman.
So just where can we go from here? What can mothers do to help their adolescent daughters face this sometimes cruel world of fashion and appearance?
#1 - DO NOT MAKE FASHION AND THE MEDIA THE ENEMY. We have a tendency as a culture to blame the media for all of our issues. "It's Britney Spears' fault that my daughter has an eating disorder," or "If fashion was actually made for women instead of beanpoles, I would be fashionable.," etc...
Britney Spears did not give your daughter an eating disorder and Marc Jacobs isn't to blame for your dislike of fashion (unless you just don't like his style).
When we make the media the enemy, we can never win. You can't shield your children from the media. You just can't. You can put parental controls on the television and computer - hell, you can even get rid of the TV and computer... but they are still going to be exposed to the media and they are still going to know who Britney Spears is.
We need the media and fashion on our side. Fashion is art. Britney Spears has a stylist (at least she used to before she got all crazy)... and she was told what to wear based on her body. She isn't pin thin. She was told how to dress in a way that complimented her body.
SO, back to where we go from here.
We teach our daughters (and ourselves) that a number is JUST a number. Cut the sizes out of every pair of jeans you own if you have to.
We realize that fashion can be on our side if we decide that the clothes have to fit us, we are not going to struggle to fit the clothes.
We shop at stores that fit our bodies and our budgets.
We get rid of the clothes that we are holding onto just HOPING that we will fit into them again. You tell your daughter to donate her clothing and in exchange, she will get new clothing that fits her new body.
Make her new body a good thing... something NEW and exciting. (I know it's not that easy, trust me! But, the more you love YOUR body - curves and all - the more likely she is to accept her new curves).
Then, be conscientious of where you shop. Here are some ideas of some flattering looks for your developing adolescent:
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This is the way to wear skinny jeans. Her top comes down long enough that it created balance and makes for a nice, flattering look.
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A longer dress that hits just above the knee with a calf-length boot is a great way to dress up but still look casual.
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| Mid-rise jeans look amazing AND make sure you don't give everyone a show when you bend-over. |
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| Feather earrings are always a fun accessory. |
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| Bangles are still very in-style right now! Stack 'em on! |
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| I adore cute flats! They are a great substitute for heels (seriously, what girl can walk around high school all day in heels?) and still look classy and polished! |
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| Riding boots are a great way to still wear your skinny jeans. Just make sure you top is long enough to cover you tush! |
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| UGGS. Oh, Uggs. This style isn't going away anytime soon - especially in Colorado. Just PLEASE don't wear them with mini-skirts or shorts! |
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Find the jeans that are right for your body. For a thinner look, stick with DARK, bootcut or flare jeans. Wear distressed jeans with caution- always pair them with a nice, more-conservative top. And of course, make sure that your jeans come up high enough. No one wants to see a plumbers crack!
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| Add some personality with your shoes! |
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| You can't go wrong with TOMS! (For every pair purchased, a pair is donated to a child in need). Look good and support a great cause. |
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Belts are a great accessory. When you belt just below your chest, it creates a beautiful silhouette. The same is true with coats. Try one in a bright color that fits your color palette.
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| These could make for a fun, everyday high school outfit |
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| Kristen Cavellari rocks Victoria's Secret's PINK line - and she makes sure that her top isn't too tight. Don't be afraid to go up a size!!! |
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| These short heels are great because they are a bit thicker - perfect for someone who doesn't need to walk a catwalk! |
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| Layer!!! Layer color and texture for a comfy, cool look. |
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| Make like Victoria Justice and make sure your shirt is the right size and your jeans have a good rise. Always add a great smile, too. |
As always, I'm here to help and just a phone-call away. 720-207-4912.
Xo, Kristin @ Kristin Golden Image Consulting
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